How do you feel after you’ve received criticism from someone? You’ll notice that it brings you down. It doesn’t make you feel good and it makes the other person feel bad as well. It causes other people to doubt themselves. They become defensive and argumentative. Often It makes them want to criticize you back, and sets up an unhealthy spiral in motion.
Obviously, there are times when you need to point things out to people and make suggestions you feel can help them. When the time comes for you to give helpful criticism how well it is received depends on the feeling you’re coming from and if you have their permission.
For example, ask them, “Would you like my feedback? I would be happy to share it with you.” If the person says, “I don’t want your feedback, or I’m really not interested.” You need to respect their decision and not say anything. However, If the person gives you their permission and says, “Sure I’d like to hear what you have to say, you might say “this is what I’ve noticed about you.” The difference is very subtle. In one instance you’re attacking and in the other, you are simply offering constructive advice.
I’ve never met a person that said to me, “my parents didn’t criticize me enough.” It’s always the opposite. I constantly hear things like, “my family is so critical of me.” No one likes it, yet people keep on doing it. If we can just resist the urge to judge and criticize great things can start to manifest in our relationships.
Good things rarely come out of criticizing other people. Blaming others is an exercise in futility because when you blame others you’re not taking responsibility. It’s very difficult for any type of resolution for problem solving to take place when you’re blaming others and pointing a finger that it’s the other person’s fault.
It is far more effective to be quiet and ask yourself, “In what way am I contributing to this problem?” When you identify, how you are contributing to the problem, make a change, take some form of action and go ahead and solve the problem. If you have really determined you are not contributing to the problem, then offer any sort of assistance you can in helping to determine the best way to solve the problem.
Blaming others is very similar to criticism which no one appreciates it. No one wants to get blamed for something.
If someone is open to the fact that they have contributed to a problem, they will step forward and admit it. No amount of blaming or finger pointing is going to bring that out in them. It just puts a distance between you and the other members of your family.
It will take practice but when you learn to resist the urge to criticize other people you will find that it will strengthen all your relationships. As an added benefit, when you stop all criticism it will bring your throat chakra back into balance.
