There are times in our lives that are ripe for reflection and transformation, and this has been one of those times for me. Over the past few years, I’ve achieved much of the success that I always wanted, but when I asked myself, “Joe, are you really happy?” I found I didn’t always know the answer. I knew I should be happy with so much goodness in my life, but I suspected that I wasn’t.
It was then that I began to understand that what was missing from my life was being in the flow, moments when I wasn’t trying to get somewhere or be something, moments when I was fully experiencing and enjoying where I was at that point. I had become so good at doing, that I wasn’t very good at just being; and of course that included being happy.
What is being in the flow? How do get into the flow? How do you know when you’re in the flow? I have found all three elements.
The first ingredient for being in the flow is consciousness. That means you’re consciously and completely experiencing what you’re doing and where you are. You’re paying attention. You notice things you wouldn’t perceive if you were being mindless or “not here.” Only when you’re totally focused in the moment can you receive the gift, the lesson, the experience of that moment.
The second ingredient for being in the flow is connection. Being in the flow happens when you have made an emotional connection between yourself and someone or something. It might be a connection between you and someone you love, you and a stranger, you and a tree you’re looking at, you and an audience you’re making a presentation to. It’s a moment in which the boundaries which appear to separate us are penetrated. We sometimes call this experience melting boundaries of “love.”
The third ingredient for being in the flow is surrender. Being in the flow happens when you totally surrender yourself into whatever you’re experiencing. You stop trying to control it. You’re totally engaged in what you’re doing, whether it’s a walk, or making love, or watching your kids play. You’re embracing rather than resisting the experience.
If I could give you a formula for getting into the flow of life it might sound like this: Become fully conscious of it, allow yourself to break through the illusion of separation and connect with the person, thing or feeling. Then surrender totally into that connection and experience. Now you should be living in the flow and experiencing the magic that it brings.
The truth is that you experience magical moments all the time, it’s just that they occur spontaneously, and it feels almost as if they happen to you by accident. For example, let’s say you’re taking a hike up a mountain or you’re walking along a beach. You stop for a moment and look out at the beautiful vista, feeling the fresh air. For a second you feel at one with everything, you have this kind of high feeling. That’s being in the flow.
You deserve to have many more real and magical moments than just once in a while and you don’t have to wait for them to happen to you. You can create them. You can become the magician, creating those magical experiences whenever and wherever you want by being in the flow.
