Boundaries are part of your personal motivation. They tell the world how much responsibility you want to carry forward in keeping your life true to what it is that you really care about. It is the center of decisions, choice and ethics. They represent integrity and responsibility for your own life experience.
If your power of decision aligns with your highest good then your experience in life will reflect that. If you give away your power by not taking responsibility and feeling that you have no choice, then your life experience will reflect this as well. Your life will be oppressed, overwhelmed and taken away from you.
You can either seize your power by being the sovereign King or Queen of your own life where you have integrity and are in alignment with your truth or just be one of the subjects in someone else’s kingdom.
Strong boundaries help you govern your day to day experiences. Do you govern them with a sense of authority? Do you govern them with a sense of personal power?
When you have strong personal boundaries you will feel strong. You will be able to make decisions that truly support you and stick with them. You will think before you act and you will say things that only reflect your truth.
Personal boundaries make you a very powerful person because people know how far they can go with you. Boundaries allow you to set up what does and doesn’t work for you. They give a sense of “don’t mess with me, don’t challenge me and don’t take advantage of me.” You are very confident and it gives others a sense that you are fully present.
Without strong boundaries you will be weak. You will be a victim and blame others for your experiences. “It’s not my fault. He or she is doing it to me. I’m oppressed.” You’ll feel incapable, give up easily and resign yourself to what you don’t want.
A clear hallmark of a person without boundaries is they are a long suffering martyr. A person who gives and gives and feels as though no one is giving back; a person who says yes all the time and doesn’t know how to say no and ask for what they want.
People with strong boundaries aren’t afraid of saying “this works for me and that doesn’t.” The stronger your boundaries are the more you make it safe for others. If you clearly know your boundaries than those around you will also begin to feel safe.
An example of a person without boundaries is the over indulgent parent who gives in to every single whim and whine of their demanding child. The more they give the more their child asks for and the more their child asks for the more they give until ultimately the parent feels pushed around and out of control.
At this point both the parent and the child feel unsafe because there is a feeling that no one is in charge. There are no clearly defined boundaries that this is acceptable and this is not. It only corrects itself when the parent puts his or her foot down that enough is enough.
Setting boundaries is hard for many people to do. You have to decide, “this works for me and this doesn’t.” You have to know when to say yes and when to say no and most importantly you have a right to express yourself in every situation.
If each person has their own clear sense of boundaries then peace will prevail. It’s when the boundaries are not clear, “what is mine, what is yours, how far can I go, how far can’t I go?” This is where conflict erupt.
When you have solid boundaries you become the peacekeeper because the more clear you are about what works for you, the more tolerant and interesting you become in what works for others. The power struggle then ceases.
A person with strong personal boundaries is a safe person to be around because they clearly know the truth for themselves and the decisions they make are right. This allows everyone to be at peace.
