Letting go of any expectations of how a conversation will go is very important in having happy and purposeful relationships. Our ego will often have us play out in advance how the conversation should go. For example, before a conversation, you might think to yourself, “I’ll say this, and then she will say that and then the conversation is probably going to turn out this way.”
When you have prior expectations of a conversation it frightens you and lowers your spirits. It makes you tighten up and encourages you not to be present. When this happens, you cannot listen to what the other person is saying because you’ve already determined what is going to happen.
A better way to communicate is to let go of your expectations, and just ask your higher self, “Is it alright to just see where this goes?” For example, when I teach a class or conduct a workshop, I never go into it rehearsed on exactly what I am going to say. I know what I want to get across to my audience. I have an outline but I just let spirit guide me and channel through me what to say. This way the topic of the class may be the same but the content is always fresh and new.
The same is true when I’m consulting one on one with a client. I will say, “let’s talk about this.” I won’t have any expectations about what’s going to happen. Consequently, I will often learn something from the conversation. Sometimes, the conversation will go in a way that is different from what I believe and that’s fine because that makes the conversation even richer.
The person you’re talking to can feel your energy. They can tell when you have expectations. The other person can sense it from you, but when you let go of any prior expectations, you’ll find that it’s so much fun to talk to someone.
When you don’t expect them to say a certain thing, and look at you in a certain way, you allow them to be free. You allow them to be human, and speak from their heart. It’s extremely important to let go of any expectations.
If the person you want to talk with is in a defensive mindset, if you let go of any prior expectations you’ll be able to actively listen to the person. It breaks down the barriers and keeps the communication light and effective. You allow the other person to say what they need to say and for you to hear what you need to hear.
Letting go of any prior expectations is different from speaking from your head. When you have expectations, you are speaking with your intellect. You are planning it out and you are thinking through on what you’re going to say. Rehearsing it in your mind.
Instead, allow yourself to be human. Let go of any prior expectations as to how the conversation should go. Occasionally, you will make mistakes and say the wrong thing but so what? Everyone makes mistakes.
