Perhaps the greatest challenge that you will ever face in life is the conquest of fear and the development of the habit of courage. When you develop the habit of courage and unshakable self-confidence, a whole world of possibilities opens up for. What would you dare to dream, or be, or do if you weren’t afraid of anything?
Fortunately the habit of courage can be learned just as the habits of fear have been learned. No one is born with fear, so every fear you experience as an adult had to be taught to you as you were growing up.
The starting point in overcoming fear and developing courage is to look at the factors that make us afraid. As we know, the root source of fear is childhood conditioning that caused us to experience the fear of failure, the feeling that “I can’t” and the fear of rejection, which causes us to feel that “I have to.”
We become preoccupied with the idea of losing our money, or our time, or our emotional investment in a relationship. We become hyper sensitive to the opinions and possible criticisms of others, sometimes to the point we are afraid to do anything that anyone else might disapprove of.
Fear is also caused by ignorance. When we don’t know what to do or what’s going on, when we have limited information, we tend to be tense and insecure about the outcome or result of our actions. Ignorance causes us to fear change, to fear the unknown and to avoid trying anything new or different. If you gather more information about a particular subject you’ll gain more confidence in that area. For example, there are parts of your life where you have no fear at all because you feel knowledgeable and completely capable of handling whatever happens.
Another factor that causes fear is illness or fatigue. When we are tired or sick, or when we are not physically fit, we are more likely to have fear and doubt that when we are feeling healthy and happy.
One of the most destructive consequences of fear is that is causes us to sell ourselves short and to settle for far less out of life that we are capable of achieving. We tend to compare ourselves unfavorably with others and to conclude that while others may be capable of happiness, love and prosperity, somehow we are not good enough. We begin to invest more mental effort in making excuses than we do in finding ways to move toward our intentions.
Here are three steps you can take that will help you face your fears:
First, whatever you fear most go there first. Take a step out in faith. Try something new or different and move out of your comfort zone even with no guarantee of success.
The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. Life is perverse in the sense that, the more you seek security, the less of it you will have but the more you seek opportunity the more likely it is that you will achieve the security you desire.
Second, have the courage and persistence to stay with something once you start. Persistence is one of the most important qualities you can possess in overcoming fear. Patience is having the ability to stand firm after you have begun and before you get any feedback or results from your action.
The world is set up to constantly test you and make you doubt yourself. It is important that you know who you are, that you come from a place of authenticity, transparency and knowledge. This is the essence of your spirit and what gives you the power to overcome any fear.
Third, is banishing doubt or worry. If you worry long enough and hard enough about something, you are going to attract it into your life. Even if a situation you are worrying about does not happen, your health and emotions will suffer because of it.
Here’s a simple technique I have taught to many of my clients to help them banish worry and doubt:
First, define the problem or situation you are worrying about clearly in writing. Second, write out the worst possible outcome of the worry situation. Third, resolve to accept the worst possible outcome, should it occur. Finally, begin immediately to improve upon the worst to make sure it does not happen.
As you face every situation with calmness and self-assurance you will not be afraid of anyone or anything and as your fears die away you will be connected with your spirit and your future becomes unlimited
