Just as a closed or protective heart may cause you problems so too will a heart that is overly open. An empathic person is someone who absorbs more than their share of other people’s human experience.
Being empathic is very overwhelming. It will bring down and put in a place of fear and exhaustion. Often it will make you sick.
When a person’s heart is too wide open they are overly empathic and too interested in how others feel. They will be overly reactionary when those around them are having unpleasant experiences.
For example, a new mother who watches every step her child makes and wants to make sure the child never falls is overly empathic. Another example would be a partner who is overly protective of his or her partner, constantly checking on them to make sure they are all right.
Someone who is overly empathic is really acting out of fear. Often this will throw you off balance because you are making the stability of your own heart dependent on the world around you. This ultimately makes you a very controlling person.
Someone who is overly empathic reacts strongly to the energy around them. For example, if someone is having a bad day it becomes your bad day. If someone’s stomach is upset then you don’t feel well. It’s like being a sponge where you soak up the vibrations of those around you.
From my experience in consulting with people for over thirty years this is extremely common. Often what’s upsetting you or bothering you is not even your problem it’s just that you are an empathic person and you are absorbing the energy around you without really examining it.
If you are empathic you need to practice staying in your own skin. Be self-loving and recognize that you cannot make another person happy. You cannot make another person feel better. You can only love them and be patient and tolerant if they choose not to be happy or feel good.
It’s being respectful of other people’s experiences and staying very mindful of taking care of yourself. Learn to observe not absorb. Detach and tell yourself, “this is not my experience.” Love people in need but don’t be their rescuer. Don’t be their savior and don’t overly identify with their experience.
If you are an empathic person learn to detach and walk away. For example, if someone is being hostile, angry or upset, just politely walk away. Being empathic is a vote of no confidence in those you love and care about. They will perceive you not as being caring but as being controlling.
Step away, everyone has their own path. One of the most loving things you can do is respect another person’s path and their learning curve. Don’t get in there and try to be the director of traffic.
