One of the most common questions I receive from my clients and people who attend my workshops is “How do I balance family and career?” In reality, you can’t balance family and career. It is not possible to simply allocate a certain amount of time for one area of your life, and then designate time for another and hope it all works out fine. The best you can do is to become as present in the moment as possible in everything you do.
The problem is you work all day. You get home already tired and preoccupied because your mind is still at work thinking about everything that happened during the day. How you will handle it tomorrow and the day after, but none of this is real. It’s all going on in your mind. Yes, it happened but it’s over. When you come home, your family can tell immediately if you’re present with them or not.
You have to learn how to center yourself and be present in the moment wherever you are. This is a problem I see in a lot of people. It took a lot time and practice, but I have learned to separate my business and personal life. When I am home I put work out of my mind completely. I do not think or talk about it. On the other hand, when I am at work I am present there and not thinking about anything else.
For example, your wife has dinner ready and you’re late coming home from work She is mad because that is a time when you really need to be in the present moment with your family. Your spouse will quickly forgive you and the kids will too as long as you’re in the present moment with them when you get home. If you’re focused on loving your wife and children, they will embrace you. When you learn to live in the present moment, you can balance your work and family.
Here is an example of something you don’t want to do. Let’s say you had an argument with your spouse in the morning and you take it to work This makes you become grumpy with your coworkers and unproductive. You’re not able to concentrate at work because your mind is on your spouse. What happens is: your mind is at home but you’re physically at work. In this case, you need to forget about what happened at home and be present at work.
Many families hope that when they get everything done, they can spend more time together, go places together and take a vacation. Unfortunately, this rarely occurs. Somehow the calendar has a mysterious way of filling up.
You’re never finished with responsibilities. You’re never finished with everything you have to do. There’s always something to do or take care of. You might think you have marked off a free date on your calendar and then something comes up to fill that space and you utter something like, “I never have time for myself.”
Something I do which I have found to be very effective, and I’ve taught many of my clients to do is to mark off specific days and half days during the month and year. I then refuse to let anything other than a dire emergency interfere with those dates. I treat it like any other important appointment. It’s just like a doctor’s appointment, a client consultation or a speaking engagement It’s my time or my family’s time and there is nothing that is going to get in the way.
If someone asks me to do something on that particular day, I tell them no, I have plans that day. There is no need to feel guilty or justify it. It is my time. If I don’t do this, I will never have any time for myself. What happens with so many people is that they mark time off for themselves, and when something related to work comes up, they immediately cancel the personal time and put something work related into the space.
So many people make the tragic mistake of actually valuing work time and making money over personal time. Yes, we have to make money to pay our bills and support our family but with the help and guidance from our higher self and spirit guides we can overcome financial difficulties. What we cannot do is replace lost time with our family. This is where so many people have regrets later in life.
Set the day and time in stone. That is your time; if something business-related comes up unexpectedly at the last minute, you don’t do it. You can’t place a price on your personal time. Time is the most valuable asset you have. If you run out of money there are ways to get more but if you run out of time you cannot get more of it.
If you want a happy family life that is peaceful and fulfilling, you must create time for yourself and your family. You can reserve your family time during the week or weekend. -Quality time with your family is time that will serve you very well.
Blocking off personal time for yourself is easier said than done. It’s all about not taking the people you love most in your life for granted. It’s about spending time with the people in your family and being in the present moment with them.
It is the simple things in life that are the most important, like watching a movie together or taking the kids to the park. People put too much emphasis on the big things like family vacations. This is not where most of life is spent. It’s spent in places like getting ready for work or getting your kids ready for school. Reading to your children and helping them with their homework.
Learn to appreciate the incredible gift of having a family. Waking up and spending time with them. Try not to get angry or upset for any reason. Instead try to start your day in a calm, collected way. Always do it with smile and appreciate the moment. We are all human so if you forget, always forgive yourself. When you do, your day becomes enriched. It’s like a big game and you are in a state of wonder. The more you play it, the better you get at it.
If you want to have good family relations, you need to focus on every day events, which is what life is all about.
