Many people find it difficult to develop good relationships with their co workers. When we are working with people we often forget that the people we work with are human beings too. They are not there just to work with us.
We often get caught up in our own judgments as to how they should look and act. Instead of respect them for who they are. We get caught up in self-analysis, being critical about the people we work with. Often judging where they are going, where they have been and often are critical of the job they do and life they live.
Who are we to judge what happens in other people? Your co workers have good and bad moods. They get depressed, reactive, and take themselves too seriously. Your co workers overreact and say things they shouldn’t. Who doesn’t?
It’s important to understand we are all in this life together so we need to give the other person a break. We need to understand the people we work with are just like us. Their personalities are different; their lives are different but we are all sharing our soul journey together.
When you ask people as I have on many occasions, “Are you doing the best you can?” 99% of the time they tell you “Yes, I really am doing the best I can but I wish I could be kinder to people because sometimes I overreact.”
They will often tell me, “I wish I was feeling better and could feel enthused. I wish I never got depressed but I do.” “I wish I were never critical but sometimes I get jealous, judgmental and I feel sorry for myself.” They will tell me things like, “I’m not making enough money at this job, I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job.” All these types of thoughts go through everyone’s mind at some point.
Learn to see your co workers as loving souls and not judge them. Just witness their beautiful spirit. If you can do this, then you will be able to give them the benefit of the doubt. You’ll then find it is much easier to get along with your co workers, and have better relationships with them.
For example, one of my clients had a co-worker who was going through a lot of personal problems. It really affected the things he did. After working with him for many sessions he was finally able to stop judging her and just witness her beautiful spirit.
Once he realized that her life did not revolve around him serving his needs. He began to understand that work was very important to her. She was good at her job. Opening up his heart allowed him to make allowances for the fact that she’s not at her best at that period of time. He just had to give her time and soon she would be back to herself and everything will be fine.
He was making the mistake that most of us make. Looking at the situation from his ego, “she was not serving him.” He needed to issue her a warning, and let her know that her work performance was not acceptable. By doing this, it made her situation worse and she became more negative and defensive and that helped no one.
Had my client not changed the way he looked and viewed her, it would have begun to hurt them both in the long run. As he changed, things got better for her and they not only developed a great working relationship but became friends as well.
It’s important to understand that the people we work with are just like us. They are beautiful spiritual beings having a human experience. It’s only our personalities that are different.
The key to better co worker relationships is simply learning to treat our co workers the same way we would like to be treated. Instead of analyzing and judging the people we work with just understand that they are human just like us. They just having a bad day.
When you learn to witness and not judge you’ll find when someone says something you don’t like it will just sit in your mind for a few seconds, and then quietly goes out. Instead of trying to analyze the other person’s comments, learn to just reflect on them. Gently let them go. If there is validity in the person’s comment you’ll know exactly what action to take. You’ll know what to say and what to do.
In my practice, I often receive a lot of criticism and negativity directed at me from people who disagree with me. When I get those comments in person or in writing, rather than getting defensive, I welcome them. I look to see if I can learn from them because in many instances I can.
The point I’m trying to make here is to not take what people say so seriously. If you don’t get defensive, you’re learning curve increases dramatically. By not taking the criticism seriously you’re using it as an opportunity learn and grow.
