When you first meet someone you are attracted to and you fall in love. Your feelings towards the person are very strong and you want to be with him or her more and more. You are present, everything else is set aside and you can’t wait to see and be with that person. Time stands still. Nothing else matters.
For example, if the person is a few minutes late, it doesn’t matter because you’re looking forward to being with him or her; you’re focused on this connection you have. When your child is born, the feelings you have afterward are very powerful and special.
These are special feelings that over time couples often lose. You get busy with your life and drift apart. You forget about those special loving moments you had with your partner when you first met. The feelings seem so long you’ll never get them back but when you look for a good feeling, you will find it.
If you’re in a marriage or a relationship, that is going through a rough period, look for the good feeling again. The feeling you had when you first met. Ask your partner, “How can we bring the feeling back we had when we first started dating? The loving feeling, we once had?” Remember what it was like; point yourself in the right direction and it will appear.
Nurturing these feelings is one of the most important things you can do to help foster a loving and purposeful relationship. When you bring back these feelings you and your partner will have the best conversations, the most effective communication, and you’ll make your best decisions.
When you have these feelings, you’ll be able to observe your partner in a loving non-judgmental way. This is when you’ll work best as a couple. It all comes from that warm, special loving feeling. For example, when you tell your partner, “I love you” from your heart space, this is when they will feel it the most.
When you go back and capture those feelings once again that you had when your first met and fell in love you are in the present moment. When you find yourself in a bad mood, you can access your authentic self and automatically connect with your spirit. This is the feeling you’re looking for because when you’re in the present moment, wonderful things begin to happen in all your relationships.
When you are present and live in the moment, it really enhances your rapport with the other person. For example, when your child gets what he or she needs from you very quickly, he or she will go on to do something else and be very satisfied. This is because you were in the present moment and your child felt the energy from you. It was genuine.
When you are not present, you don’t have the connection with your child. Very often he or she will tug on your pant leg and need more from you. They’ll ask more from you, and become more demanding because you not in the present moment.
The child will feel something is missing. He or she will keep hounding you, asking for more. This is often why you hear parents say their children are “very clingy” and never lets them be. This happens because the parent is not present with their child.
It’s the same dynamic with your spouse or coworker. When you are present when another person is talking, the other person will feel listened to, they will feel a connection with you. This allows your learning curve to increase and you will learn the lessons you were meant to learn from this relationship to enhance your soul growth
Everything in your life revolves around being present in the moment or lack of it. If you’re with people and you have a strong sense of presence, you develop rapport. When you are present, you see right to the heart of the matter when someone is talking to you, and really hear what they are saying. You understand what the person is saying when they are speaking to you because you are focused solely on the other person.
When you are present, it not only makes it impossible to feel stressed but it’s also very calming. Therefore, you are releasing stress from yourself and the other person. It’s as if time stands still.
You are right there with the person, and it takes your mind off your worries and concerns, and what’s wrong in your life because you’re right there in the moment with the other person. When you are present, you are totally engaged in the conversation and unaware of what’s going on around you.
When you are not present, you notice yourself not letting other people finish their sentences. You drift in and out when it’s not about you. Sometimes, you’re there and sometimes you’re not, and over time you will start to develop a dislike for not being present. You start to want it in your life.
If you want to have loving purposeful relationships being present must be one of your intentions. It takes practice and being willing to open your heart. As you practice being present it will get easier and easier.
In a short period of time you will reach a point where you simply will not allow yourself to be absent when another person is talking to you.
