Ask yourself this question: What is my life for? What is the purpose of me being alive? Don’t answer that quickly. It’s very important.
In his book Flow, Psychologist and author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote, “The ultimate in well-being is to have one’s life flowing toward an overriding goal, a unifying theme that gives meaning to all our lesser goals.” I interpret this to mean; to minimize the self, to remember what life is for, to connect. Above all connect. When you connect, your life is joyful and happy.
There is a law of impermanence that we must learn to fully understand in order to enjoy life and create happiness. Happiness never lasts, just as pain never lasts. In his book The Pursuit of Happiness, Psychologist and author David G. Meyers wrote “Every desirable experience, passionate love, a spiritual high, the pleasure of a new possession, the exhilaration of success, is transitory. It will never last.” The key is to remember that and that happiness is always waiting around the corner.
Another aspect of happiness that is sometimes hard for people to understand is what I call denial for the sake of happiness. Sometimes self-denial is crucial to happiness. The key to happiness is balance. What is up is up and what is down is down. You must understand that nothing is permanent. Sometimes self-denial can lead to much joy now and even more later.
In order to create happiness, it is important to establish what I call “an attitude of gratitude.” The grace of being happy is unconditional positive regard for others and for your world. That is creating happiness.
Happiness is purposeful. You must learn to do it. It doesn’t just happen. You don’t do it by minimal self-connecting with the world and those around you.
Here are ten questions you should ask yourself every day to help you measure your true progression toward happiness:
1. Do you try to look and act happy? Remember that you going through the motions alters the emotions. If you behave differently, you begin to feel differently. If you behave lovingly, you will feel love. You change your behavior first. If you change how you behave and you behave with joy in your daily life, you will feel happier.
2. Do you avoid negativity? Such as personalizing things that happen to you; making things pervasive; and making them permanent when something negative happens. You must remember the art of waiting for things to change. They will get better and when they are really good, they will get worse.
3. Do you engage in joyful life rituals every day? Rituals are things like meditation, dancing and chanting that connect you with spirit. They give your life a sense of rhythm and reason.
4. Are you happy as work? Freud said that the key to health is Leiben and Arbiten, which means to love and to work. Loving your work is one of the most pleasurable things you can do. If you are not happy at work, you must do something immediately to change your situation. It is fundamental to your happiness.
5. Do you laugh every day? Medical studies have shown that laughter makes your immune system stronger by increasing the antibodies that fight off viruses, even cancer cells.
6. Do you stifle your anger rather than vent it? Research shows quite clearly that when you express anger you become more angry; going through the motions alters the emotions. What you should do is stifle it. When you vent anger the negative energy affects everyone.
7. Do you delude yourself a little every day? Denial is important. Delusion is important. Experience is not what happens to you. It’s what you make of what happens to you. So delusion, enlightened delusion is part of happiness.
8. Do you connect with your higher self? Happiness requires that we get in touch with our true self. That we get away from our ego and live from our essence who we really are; spiritual beings in a physical body enjoying a human experience.
9. Do you have plenty of time? Think of what time does to us. Time is the most valuable asset we have. When you run out of time you can’t get more of it. Manage your time wisely it is essential to happiness.
10. Are you healthy? We are given one body at birth that carries our soul on this physical plain for our entire life. Be really in tune with every sense of your body and take care of it.
