You will never be able to understand why something is happening if you are complaining about it. As long as you are complaining you are committed to accepting what is happening is bad. You are totally in ego, completely disconnected from spirit and resisting the energy of the situation by wanting it to be different.
Rather than resolving to eliminate all complaining right away it is easier to begin with a specific type of complaint. What do you complain about most often? The weather, an annoying co-worker, the high cost of living choose one topic and resolve not to say anything negative about it for a week. Whenever you catch yourself complaining out load about that topic, stop talking and immediately change the subject.
When you are able to go a full week without complaining out load about your chosen topic move onto to the next step which is eliminating the same complaint from your thoughts; each time you become aware of negative words in your head, stop thinking those words but don’t attempt to replace them with positive thoughts. The idea is to let go of your commentary on the situation all together. When you raise your awareness about complaints on your chosen topic you also find yourself becoming aware of the complaining you do on other topics.
You will begin to notice that the mood behind all your complaints is basically the same and you may begin to develop distaste for that mood. Without ever having resolved to eliminate complaining all together you will steadily find yourself doing less and less of it.
As you succeed in eliminating words of complaint from your speech and thoughts you may discover that the feelings behind your complaints intensify. For example, when you stop complaining about the cold weather you will experience the cold more. This is a sign that your practice is working. When you cease to judge your experience you begin to feel it more, you connect with the energy of the experience. You are simply cold. You don’t label this as a good or a bad thing. It just is.
When you eliminate your thoughts that evaluate your experience, what you are left with is emotion. The creative energy attention in motion, you are fully in the present moment. Fully connected with whatever is happening in the now. Your energy is moving with the outward situation. What you are used to calling emotion is actually a habitual thought.
For example, suppose you’re driving and a car suddenly pulls into your lane and abruptly cuts in front of you. First you feel a flash of fear and in that energy of fear you are inherently connected to the present moment, you are able to see and react quickly avoiding a collision. That is emotion, the creative energy of complete attention in motion.
As the energy subsides the mental commentary begins. You start thinking negative thoughts about the driver who cut your off and additional thoughts about all the other bad drivers on the road. Though you may say you are angry but what you are really feeling is not true emotion, rather you have worked yourself into a state of resentment, a pattern of complaining thoughts that closely resemble thoughts you have had many times in the past. You become lost in your thoughts, disconnected from your spirit and the present moment; your creative energy is almost non-existent in this state. Resentment, envy, worry and anxiety are examples of thought patterns that have not come from emotions but rather from resistance to emotion.
As you practice eliminating complaint you learn to tell the difference between these thought patterns and true emotions. Complaint patterns involve the repetitious use of words. Since words have the power to manifest into reality in the physical world you might think that you are always complaining about something because it is always happening to you but in fact it is always happening because you are always complaining about it.
Worry and anxiety have the power to attract whatever you are worried and anxious about. Unlike the brief flash of energy that enables you to react quickly in an emergency, worry is fear that has lost its active and dynamic quality. Instead of moving with the situation you freeze and your fear turns to repetitive thought rather than positive action.
Over and over again you imagine the negative outcome of your fear and since our imagination is a powerful creative force fearful mental images will eventually create the very situation you fear. Fear attracts.
For example, if you worry every day that you will lose your job the negative energy you bring to your work will eventually give someone the idea of firing you. If you fear divorce or the break up in a relationship your constant fear may be the very thing that drives your partner away.
Once you begin the practice of eliminating complaint in your life, what you will be left with are emotions, the creative energy of attention in motion. You then will find it natural to always be in the present moment and start enjoying the life you always wanted.