To have a truly loving relationship our intention should be to raise our vibration and create soul to soul relationships. We need to create authentic spirited relationships because that is our great soul work in this lifetime. It is what we all really want and need.
In this blog I want to focus on clear communication because communication is the only avenue to building the kind of relationships you want. It is the only way to understanding and build the emotional experiences and heart based and soul to soul – based experiences that you want.
The success of your relationships will be determined by your level of communication. If you are not communicating in a way that can be understood by those you are in relationship with, then the relationship is not going to unfold in a rewarding outcome.
It’s up t each one of us to communicate clearly. and there are a few ground rules that need to happen in order for you to have the type of authentic relationship that you want.
The first, is to let go and allow your spirit to lead you. Let your spirit be the one that communicates. Allow your spirit to be the essence of you. The part of you that wants to relate. Not your ego, or your grievances or your defenses. Don’t allow your victim hood or your neediness to lead you. That is all a facet of your personality
If you can drop in and really communicate from your spirit, then you will immediately become a better communicator. You will naturally come from a place of calm and clear authenticity.
When you are communicating, check in with yourself and ask; “Is this my head talking? Is this my fear or my emotion talking or this my spirit talking?”
It may take a few moments when you are in a challenging situation to get back to your spirit but remember to go there. Try to practice living there on a regular basis. Soon you’ll realize that you don’t have to travel back to this place of peace in the middle of a war. You’ll want to live there so when you get agitated and you get worked up, you’ll know “that’s not my spirit.”
Even if it’s an internal conversation first ask yourself, “What is my spirit trying to say?” “What does my spirit want to say?” First to me and then to the person I am talking to.
The more you relate from your spirit the more it will attract soul to soul relationships that work for you. Practice this and soon you will be surprised that what your spirit has to say is very different from your intellect.
The next ground rule is: when you’re speaking don’t speak to another person’s behavior or their persona or their role, instead speak directly to their spirit This will take some awareness, but remember, there is a Divine spark of light in there. There is a vulnerable child in there. There is a scared human being in there who has a lot of protected defenses just like you.
If you speak to their spirit, they are going to feel that they can relax. When you speak to someone’s spirit you are going to automatically speak with respect. Speak from a place of self-respect and speak to the other person’s spirit always remembering to be respectful.
You wouldn’t disrespect the Holy Spirit if it were standing in front of you. You wouldn’t scream and yell and call the Holy Spirit names. Speak with respect for their spirit remembering that their spirit is holy and really does deserve respect.
This might take some practice especially if you’re not in the habit of being respected. If you haven’t respected your spirit this will be a stretch for you, but it is what will make things work better and improve your relationships.
The other thing I’m going to encourage you to do is to slow down when you’re talking. Leave the other person with room to breathe. When you’re emotional and agitated and there is no room to breathe, that’s not your spirit. One of the greatest signs of respect is when you are breathing and calmly listening to the other person. Breathe is spirit. Allow your Higher Self, your inner teacher, your intuition to be the leader of your conversation. Let your spirit be the communicator. Slow down!
I know this very well because I can be a hot – headed Italian at times. I can get worked up and sometimes let my emotions get the best of me. So, I know it’s easier said than done. I also know that when you’re in that place there will be no effective communication. There are times when I want to blast right through there just as much as anyone but, I know at this point of intensity effective communication is not going to happen.
When this happens it’s best to take a moment and say “I’m going to walk away. I’m not leaving the conversation, I’m not leaving the relationships I just need some time to put myself in a better place to have to have this conversation.”
So, if you’re over agitated, step away with the promise of returning. Make it clear to the other person that you’re just going to settle yourself down. By doing this you’re keeping the door open and not closing it.
Always be present to your own authentic self and respect your spirit. Speak from your spirit and be respectful to the spirit of the person you are speaking to. Be clear about what you are hearing. Not everyone is good with words, so don’t just listen to their words, listen to their heart. Listen to their intent.
If you sense that there is a lot of fear and defense in the other person try to get underneath it. Use your intuition in order to hear what the other person is trying to say. Hear what your own heart is trying to say. Listen with Intention for the real message, not the words. This is very important.
Remember to breathe and listen with intent. Be respectful and calm. If you get agitated take a time out and own it. Never go down the road with the feeling “I’m not going to communicate anymore, I’m just going to be mad.”
Work on this and give yourself practice time of ten – minute intervals. You’ll soon find that your relationships will get better and the experience you want to have will start happening. You will create loving soul to soul relationships.
